My mom passed away three years ago this October and having her gone made me realize how much I counted on her for guidance. She is the greatest influence in my understanding of how men and women behave. We did not always agree, especially as the years progressed and I forged my own way in the world, but now when I need her guidance I use the example of her life. I can see how she is a product of how her mother raised her and that my grandma is the product of her mother raised her and so on. Thus, I have come to view myself as a product of having my mother raise me.
I have a picture in my son's room that says "How children see things depends on what we teach them" and I have come to accept that if I want my son to not be afraid of strong women then I need to be a strong woman for him. I need to live my life as an example just as my mom did for me. Yet at the ripe age of five, I have already heard my son say “girls can’t do that” and I realize that my battle has just begun.
I personally abide by the philosophy that I can’t change anyone, only myself. I don’t expect my idea of what being a woman will match everyone else’s but I hope that encourages real honest debates. Having said that, I believe one of the major ways gender influences my daily life is the fact that I need to pay attention to messages aimed at women more carefully. For example, since I work at a women’s clothing store, I find it especially disturbing that the choice of music is filled with questionable lyrical content. I have to stand up for how I want to be treated while fighting images and assumptions pressured upon me by popular culture. On the same token, I do not want to say all men are a certain way because that is a gross injustice to feminist men everywhere as they also face pressure from culture stereotypes.
I have read, understand, and agree to the terms of the course syllabus and the blogging protocols.
- Jennifer Rey
